Truth or Dare
by ultimate-drax
Summary: I'm not good summaries so all I can say is it's worth reading.
1. Chapter 1

**A.N. I don't owe Bleach ore any other Manga & Animie. **

"Hey everybody! This is Ultimate-Drax. Since I don't know what to write about to FF I've decided to write a Bleach truth or dare. The rules are simple. There are no limits for what truth or dare the characters will have to endure. It can be anything between eating plants and gay pile it's really all up to you folks. Oh and every character in Bleach will be partaking in this game and err that's about it. Review some juicy truth or dare for me please and the others will suffer the consciences."

Ichigo: I don't like where this is going.

Renji: It's just a goofy game of truth or dare. How horrible could it be?


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N. I don't owe Bleach ore any other Manga & Animie. **

Ultimate-Drax: Hey everybody! This is Ultimate-Drax. Sorry for the delay, it's only a few weeks before graduation and school is really pushing me. I didn't get many truth or dares but still I like them. Thanks a lot. We'll start with this one.

Ichigo: Oh no, here we go.

Ultimate-Drax: This one is from 'ichigos future wife'

***evil laugh* this sounds like funnnnn! i gots some dares! :D**

I dare Isshin to fight Ichigo seriously for five minutes..

I dare Urahara to make out with Yoruichi.

uhh I dare Ichigo to sing a love song to Rukia! ^_^

Ultimate-Drax: Well, you heard the lady. Start fighting you two.

Isshin: Finally a chance for my son to prove himself worthy of marrying Rukia.

Ichigo: Shut up old man!

Isshin: If you manage to defeat me you will have proven yourself worthy of singing a love song for Rukia.

Ichigo: Shut up let's get on with this!

Ultimate-Drax: While those two are at it. Urahara, Yoruichi. Start making out. And keep going until the fight is over.

Urahara: This will be the greatest dare of my life.

Yoruichi: Like this is new for you. (Starts making out with Urahara):

**Ichigo VS Isshin**

Ichigo charged in on Isshin, Zangetsu high up. Isshin easily blocked it.

"My dear son," Isshin said, "How can a weakling like you satisfy a woman like Rukia? I'm ashamed of calling you my son."

"Shut up you damn pervert!" Ichigo cried out and fired a Getsuga Tensho in point blank range.

"I'm starting to get sleepy over here," Isshin taunted. "Come on now, give me a challenge already. Fight me with your Bankai. I won't be going easy on you forever."

"Is that how you want it?" Ichigo asked, Isshin nodded. "Suit yourself," He said pointing Zangetsu forwards and cried out, "Ban kai." When the dark smock cleared, Ichigo stood before his father in both Bankai form and with his Hollow mask on.

"I don't recall asking you to use your Hollow mask," Isshin said smiling.

"Getsuga…" Ichigo said quietly but loud enough to hear, "…Tensho!" He cried out charging in on his father who stood prepared with his sword in a defensive position.

**DING DING!**

Ultimate-Drax: Fights over."

Ichigo and Isshin: WHAT!

Ultimate-Drax: It's already been five minutes.

Ichigo: Come on! I was about to finally give pops a real as kicking.

Isshin: HA! Please, you couldn't even beat the shit out of a paper bag full of shit.

Ichigo: don't need to, I can always beat the shit out of you!

Ultimate-Drax: Anyway, time does go faster when you're either having fun or fighting.

Ichigo: FUN!

Ultimate-Drax: It was fun for me. And for Urahara and Yoruichi, those two won't stop making out even though I said they can do it until the fight is over.

Ichigo: Where are they by the way?

Ultimate-Drax: They got a little over exited and left to gods knows where. Anyway, the next dare is that Ichigo is going to sing a love song for Rukia.

Ichigo: Oh man!

Rukia: (Thinking) Yes!

Ultimate-Drax: Now there are so many loves songs that I like and it was really hard to decide, but I finally found the perfect one for you to sing Ichigo.

Renji: Which one did you take?

Ultimate-Drax: The book of love, by Peter Gabriel.

Ichigo: I don't know the texts to that song.

Ultimate-Drax: Already thought about that. You're going to be singing through this karaoke machine.

Ichigo: Can this be any worse.

Ultimate-Drax: For you, it can actually. Since every character on Bleach is going to be listening. Enjoy!

Ichigo: (Picks up the microphone) Well, here we go.

Music starts.

Ichigo stands before Rukia and starts singing.

The book of love is long and

Boring

No one can lift the damn thing

It's full of charts and facts

And figures and instruction

For dancing

But I

I love it when you read to me

And you

You can read me anything

**Every woman starts screaming with excitement**

The book of love has music

In it

In fact that's where music

Comes from

Some of it is just

Transcendental

Some of it is just really

Dumb

But I

I love it when you sing to me

And you

You can sing me anything

Rangiku: He sings just like…

Gin: Don't even say it!

Rangiku: But he's fantastic!

The book of love is long

And boring

And written very long ago

Its full of flowers and heart-

Shaped boxes

And things we're all to

Young to know

But I

I love it when you give me things

And you

You ought to give me wedding

Rings

And you

Ought to give me

Wedding rings

Song ends.

Renji: Dude that must have been really embarrassing for y… Rukia! What the hell are you doing!

Ultimate-Drax: She is going to town on Ichigo.

Isshin: My third daughter will finally make a man out of Ichigo.

Renji: Okay Rukia, you can stop now!

Rangiku: Yea let some of us have some.

Rukia: Back of bitches! He's mine!

Ichigo starts to slip out of Rukia's grasp and heading towards the exit.

Mashiro: He's getting away!

Harribel: Don't let him escape!

Ichigo: (Starts running like never before) I swear I'm gonna kill you for this Ultimate-Drax!

Ultimate-Drax: Come on now Ichigo! It's every man's dream to have dozens of hot chicks running after him!

A couple of hours later Ichigo returns all torn up

Ultimate-Drax: How're ya feeling?

Ichigo: I have been assaulted, violated, suffocated and I can still find a nail in my ass that came from god knows who!

Ultimate-Drax: Now on with the next one. From ultima-owner

Ichigo: Stop ignoring me!

**I dare ichigo to get drunk on sake**

true:Rukia do you love Ichigo? 

Ultimate-Drax: You heard the reviewer. Rangiku, Shunsui, go get the strongest Sake you can find!

Rangiku and Shunsui: Ay ay sir!

After ten bottles of sake Ichigo is on the table dancing to 'More Than a Feeling' by 'Boston'

Ichigo: I lofe thihs song buth not as much as I lofe eferyone in thihs bar!

Renji: And we love you drunken Ichigo!

Rangiku: Come on Ichigo, shake some ass for us!

Ichigo: I'm gonna shake you Rangiku-san!

Ultimate-Drax: I've read that sake contains between 18-20% alcohol, and yet after ten bottles he's still standing.

Isshin: Can we go on with the truth now. I wanna know my third daughters true feelings for Ichigo.

Ultimate-Drax: I would much rather have Rukia do that while Ichigo is sober.

Rukia: I don't really mind.

Ultimate-Drax: To bad. I decide the rules here and there's nothing you can do about it.

Rukia: I can sue you on everything you got.

Ultimate-Drax: Yo, Yoruichi, you're a smart woman. How would I do in a trail like that?

Yoruichi: I would advise you to bring your own buss money because by the time Rukia is done suing you she will be driving home in your Cadillac.

Ultimate-Drax: Damn it.

Rukia: (Smiles mockingly)

Ultimate-Drax: Alright Rukia, do you love Ichigo?

Rukia: (Blushing) Y-ye-yes. I love kurosaki Ichigo.

Everyone in the room, aside from Renji and Byakuya: Aw!

Rukia: There, I've said it. I've been keeping that inside me for so long.

Ultimate-Drax: Hey, Orihime what do you have to say about this? (Orihime is nowhere to be found) What the hell? Where's Orihime?

Grimmjow: Come to think of it, where's Ulquiorra?

Ultimate-Drax: I'm sure those two will be alright.

Ichigo: RUKIA! (Grabs Rukia from behind) You really do lofe me. I knew yous would. I lofe you to. (Pulls Rukia to the ground as he collapse)

Rukia: Ichigo! Let go of me! You stink of sake!

Ichigo: You speak to me in suchs a harsh languishs (Starts weeping) you don't lofe me anymore don't ya?

Ultimate-Drax: We gotta get him drunk more often. This is even more entertaining than cable TV.

Somewhere else, Orihime and Ulquiorra comes out of a closet while putting their shirts back on.

Orihime: When I found out that Rukia was gonna to tell Ichigo how she really felt I needed to do this.

Ulquiorra: She promised she teach me more about a heart if I agreed.

**Ultimate-Drax: Okay, that's it for this time. I hope you will want more truth or dare, of course that will only be possible if you all review some to me. And if some of ya are disappointed in Isshin and Ichigo's fight I'm really sorry, but this is a comedy. Well until next time have a great time, good bay everybody!" **


End file.
